Losing Grip

There are people who can walk from you. And hear me when I tell you this. When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean, hang up the phone. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if that's the case, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are bad persons, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You have got to know when it's dead. You have got know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye.

It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, if you are holding on to past's hurts and pains, if someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth, if someone has angered you, if you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge, if you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction, if you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents, if you have a bad attitude, if you keep judging others to make yourself feel better, if you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him, if you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship, if you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves, if you're feeling depressed and stressed, if there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to LET IT GO.

Aries

I've been so focused on where I'm going, which is smart. But today, I think it is about time to get back to the present and start living in the moment. I've kept my gaze fixed so far into the future, and that created some distance, huge rather, between me and someone who cares a lot about me. I know that it is time to get back in touch with them. But I don't know how. I want to go through this day slowly and take the world around me -- Stop thinking about tomorrow for a while. I don't want to totally miss out on today.

Fifteen Minutes

*You are required to read my Blowing Candles blog entry before this. :))

A major mood switch...

ONE: A great friendship may be few and far between. I'm lucky enough to cultivate one. I am truly blessed. She's the reason behind every wonderful moments I've had.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY JULING!♥

OYEA! One year to go ing. ;) HAHA!
I lovess you superr -ing! ♥
And you know that I always got your back. :D
Super miss na kitaa! :|
Just always remember that...
No matter how CRAPPY things could get,
I dont effin care, as long as we'll stick together.
No but's, no why's, no how. :D
Amwuahh! :-*

TWO: Momay and Lucelle came over. We've done the usual thing. Pinagchismisan ang buhay ng mga tao. Hahaha! We're having so much fun eating and gossiping, and playing Wii's Ultimate Band, but Momay had to leave early. :( I needed company for the night so I asked Lucelle to stay with me. I called up her dad --- I was shaking and breathing heavily. Being rejected is not my option last night so I kept my fingers crossed and used some of my... oh well, I sounded convincing enough that Lucelle's dad allowed her to sleep over here. WOW!

Friendships go through trials when someone moves away or move out. It's just a part of life whether we're growing up or going away to college. I missed talking to her so much that after so many hours, I found myself talking non-sense already, and it was funny to see her listening very eagerly. :))

11:45PM A sun number, calling me, and I didn't bother answering. Hahaha! Seconds past... Through the loud barfs of Serendipity, our huge dog, I heard a voice calling out tao po? I spent no time thinking about who's voice it was. It was the voice I've been missing since I can remember. I suddenly got off my feet. Shit! Si Ryza 'yun! I hurriedly opened the door and viola! Happy Birthday -ing! Happy Birthday Juling! Uy Happy Birthday! Their voices overlapping.

My initial reaction kind of set them off. I got worried on how my tita would react because I woke her up, and that I wasn't able to ask any permission from my mom because I wasn't expecting any surprise. :)) So I textd my mom right away... Hey Mom, Ryza and company surprised me. They brought mild drinks hahaha! and food. Okay lang ba? No reply. But my tita said it was okay, so I was very much relieved.

The fun started...
The Bar, Marlboro Menthol, Sansrival Ice Cream, Coke & Clover Chips :)) We started taking turns and got shocked to see Lucelle drinking. Sushal, tumatagay na siya! Hahaha! The conversation was wildly crazy! Ryza keep on insisting us to share anything about our lives. Gossips and controversies spill over the place, and of course, school was never left out. The funny part was whenever messing up becomes the topic, someone would always react and say this line with conviction: "College na nga kasi!" Why put the blame on college? Hahaha! After emptying the bottle, we went to my brother's Nico room to relax and continue the it's-about-time-we-catch-up session. ...Ryza played Wii, another indulged himself in playing Virtual Tennis, and most of them are taking turns in surfing the net. And overlapping conversations...

April 19, 2009; 2:30AM Lights off. Sharing craps of life continues. Cellphones keep on ringing. Their dads and moms calling, and girlfriends too. Hahaha! Lara left at 3AM, so we're just seven now in the room. Joed thought that we need some sleep. So off we go, squeezing ourselves into this one small bed. Five of us in bed, one on the floor, and one on the chair. Pity! Another hour was spent on laughing, creating hilarious sounds, and making up faces which would make you burst out into tears. Special thanks to Glenn, for his unbeatable skills! WengWeng. And congratulations to Lucelle for bagging the Little Miss Pasig Award. Hahaha! OP ka no? :))

Thank you for being able to make it.
Fifteen minutes before my birthday ends.

Razing, Laring, Lucelle, Marino, Joed, Joshua & Glenn
What will we do with friendships without humor?
Every now and then we have to laugh right?
*pictures coming soon. ;)

Blowing Candles

Last Saturday was very special. It was Nanay's 77th. It was celebrated in my mom's province, IloIlo. The Jover's and Cabalfin's put up this little get-together, reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I can't consider it little though. Ang laki ng pamilya namin! Wala pa dun ang mga Santiago at Roxas. :))

Nanay and Tatay, my aunts, and uncles, and cousins are very welcoming. The heat was dehydrating. The road was exhausting! The foods we're yummy, and the taste was something new. There we're balloons, there we're cakes. But to also see my name on those was a surprise to me. I was totally clueless that we we're having a double celebration. It was a good day, indeed! Thank you, mom.

April 18, 2009: A day I am not looking forward to.

Today's different. Empty. Like someone dug a big hole out of me. I feel odd to not have or feel any bit of excitement flowing in my nerves. It is sad to not go out with my friends, get drunk, and fill up my lungs with smoke. Bad.

04.18.08 Oh how I miss Choko's not-so-convincing powers with the bouncer of Decades. Also the I'm-sorry-Coke-lang-ang-pede-niyong-inumin when we decided to just celebrate Jopok's and my birthday at Off The Grill. And Totoy wildin' out when we arrived at Guilly's. How would I forget the Turkish guy I danced with, Whine Up playing on the dance floor... :)) Everyone I'm with that night 'til morning was very happy that made Anna declared that it was the Party Of The Year. Hahaha!

And this year, maybe I just have to sit here, and continue blabbing about the past.
Stuck to our we used to...

Dad, I'm tumbling down. But I will try to make this kind and clear... Don't ask me what I want for my special day. 'Cause I don't want boxes wrapped in strings, and desire, and love, and empty things. Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days. I wish you would understand, I really miss you. Forgive me.

Happy Birthday Jopok
and Happy 17th to me.

Pizza Feast

"There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what weʼre trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path."

- lcroxas

Lurking around Ryza's profile is pretty great! Because I've found these pictures...

YCab SM Marilao
Phone Number: 711-2222
Just in case you want to order. :))

Manhattan love! <3
"Huy! Wala na akong pera pang tricycle, pahiram ng trenta."
"Pa-add ng chili sauce ha?"
-Ryza :))

February 2, 2008
The reason behind every Math sessions
that was cancelled. :))

February 6, 2008
The -ing's pigged out again! :))
We we're supposed to review for Physics!
Whatever, we passed teacher Ched's exam. :p

April 9, 2008
The -ing's final pizza bonding.
We watched American History X.
This was the last time... when will this happen again?

Time flies so fast that sometimes you do not actually recognize who are your true friends. I've been friends with so many people, from different cliche, and I loved it! You bump into each other, give them bright smiles and hugs them. You hang out together, fool around people, laugh, and go crazy together. But eventually, in life, you would reach this deep curve, and you will need someone to help you climb that slope. Many disappeared... And I want to thank my -ing's for coming into rescue! :) For not leaving me behind, for never leaving my side. There have been huge changes that happened, and just currently taking place in each of us... Let's hang out and see if we could catch up. I miss you Laring and Razing!

"Life is too short to get pissed off all the time."
"Too intact to be beaten and ruined."
Our lines, don't immitate! ;)

Care For Another Glass?

There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

TickTock

Time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down... hovering until it freezes. Leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and everything around is moving so fast. I just want to go back to when things were normal, when I wasn't the poor me who never seems to stop messing up. But I am. So I can't. I'm just stuck, and there's all this pressure! 'Cause everyone's hovering around, waiting for me to do something or say something or flip out or yell or cry some more. And I'm happy to play my part. I'm happy to say the lines and do whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing if it would make everyone feel more comfortable. But I don't. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be this person. I don't know who this person is. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All, any of us can want more time. It's time to stand up, time to grow up, time to let go. It's time.